Brought to You by The Unemployed Philosophers Guild
The origins of the Unemployed Philosophers Guild are shrouded in mystery. Some accounts trace the Guild's birth to Athens in the latter half of the 4th century BCE. Allegedly, several lesser philosophers grew weary of the endless Socratic dialogue endemic in their trade and turned to crafting household implements and playthings. (Hence the assertions that Socrates quaffed his hemlock poison from a Guild-designed chalice, though vigorous debate surrounds the question of whether it was a "disappearing" chalice.)
Others argue that the UPG dates from the High Middle Ages, when the Philosophers Guild entered the world of commerce by selling bawdy pamphlets to pilgrims facing long lines for the restroom. Business boomed until 1211 when Pope Innocent III condemned the publications. Not surprisingly, this led to increased sales, even as half our membership was burned at the stake.
More recently, revisionist historians have pinpointed the birth of the Guild to the time it was still cool to live in New York City's Lower East Side. Two brothers turned their inner creativity and love of paying rent towards fulfilling the people's needs for finger puppets, warm slippers, coffee cups, and cracking up at stuff.
- Long live Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth! Long live the Queen! Good Queen Bess made visits to such exalted locales as Hampton Court Palace and Kenilworth Castle and Cambridge ("Vivat! Vivat! Vivat regina Elizabetha!") And now she may visit your humble dwelling, an 't please her.
- Can't you just see the headlines when Queen Elizabeth I arrives at your place? Heads will turn, tongues will wag, and courtiers and commoners alike (your friends and neighbors) will be compelled to agree: since your home is fit for royalty, you must be a person of quality. Her Majesty is approximately 12" tall when standing - but why on Earth would she be standing in your presence?
- Little Thinkers are not stuffy intellectuals - they're stuffed intellectuals. Let our Little Thinker dolls add a dollop of culture and humor to your shelves. Collect them all and surround yourself with the greatest minds - in plush form! Why collect books when you can collect the authors, and more? These dolls of famous figures, politicians, artists, theorists, scientists, and rebels make smart and clever gifts.
- From the Unemployed Philosophers Guild. Don't worry. We are employed, just not as philosophers. UPG is a small, Brooklyn based company specializing in gifts for the sophisticated gift giver. We have presents of mind.
- Long live Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth! Long live the Queen! Good Queen Bess made visits to such exalted locales as Hampton Court Palace and Kenilworth Castle and Cambridge ("Vivat! Vivat! Vivat regina Elizabetha!") And now she may visit your humble dwelling, an 't please her.
- Can't you just see the headlines when Queen Elizabeth I arrives at your place? Heads will turn, tongues will wag, and courtiers and commoners alike (your friends and neighbors) will be compelled to agree: since your home is fit for royalty, you must be a person of quality. Her Majesty is approximately 12" tall when standing - but why on Earth would she be standing in your presence?
- Little Thinkers are not stuffy intellectuals - they're stuffed intellectuals. Let our Little Thinker dolls add a dollop of culture and humor to your shelves. Collect them all and surround yourself with the greatest minds - in plush form! Why collect books when you can collect the authors, and more? These dolls of famous figures, politicians, artists, theorists, scientists, and rebels make smart and clever gifts.
- From the Unemployed Philosophers Guild. Don't worry. We are employed, just not as philosophers. UPG is a small, Brooklyn based company specializing in gifts for the sophisticated gift giver. We have presents of mind.
