You are an idiot.

Don't get defensive! It's not your fault. For decades your teachers, authority figures and textbooks have been lying to you. You do not have five senses. Your tongue doesn't have neatly segregated ta...

Buy Now From Amazon

You are an idiot.

Don't get defensive! It's not your fault. For decades your teachers, authority figures and textbooks have been lying to you. You do not have five senses. Your tongue doesn't have neatly segregated taste-bud zones. You don't know what the pyramids really looked like. You're even pooping wrong - Jesus, you're a wreck!

But it's going to be okay. Because we're here to help. Packed with more sexy facts than the Encyclopedia Pornographica, the Cracked De-Textbook will teach you about the true stars of history, why you picture everything from Velociraptors to Ancient Rome incorrectly, and finally, at long last - how to pop a proper squat. This book was built from the ground up to systematically seek out, dismantle and destroy the many untruths that years of misguided education have left festering inside of you, and leave you a smarter person...whether you like it or not. The De-Textbook is a merciless, brutal learning machine. It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are informed.

Similar Products

You Might Be a Zombie and Other Bad News: Shocking but Utterly True FactsHow to Fight Presidents: Defending Yourself Against the Badasses Who Ran This CountryA Brief History of Vice: How Bad Behavior Built CivilizationWhat If?: Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical QuestionsTotto-Chan: The Little Girl at the WindowYour Presidential Fantasy Dream TeamOULUOQI Compatible with iPhone 11 Pro Max Case 2019, Shockproof Clear Case with Hard PC Shield+Soft TPU Bumper Cover Case for iPhone 11 Pro Max 6.5 inch.The Book of General Ignorance